Hey, NBA, what the hell is wrong with you? Did you not realize that having Dwyane Wade judge a dunk contest that featured a Miami Heat player and former teammate of his, would be a conflict of interest?
Last night Aaron Gordon was robbed. What else needs to be said? Through the first four rounds, AG scores a perfect 200. Straight 50’s with each dunk. How does someone who accomplishes that lose? I’ll tell you how. Dwyane Wade sabotaged and inevitably tainted one of the all-time greatest dunk contests. In what world do we live in where a human being dunks over a 7’5 dude and it’s not a 50? In what world do we live in where dunking from a foot inside the free-throw line is more impressive? Derick Jones, to quote Vageta, your dunk has been done OVER 9000 times before. High school kids have done that dunk. Sure. It’s impressive. But we’ve seen it. When is the last time you’ve seen anyone jump over Tacko Fall or someone of similar stature? You haven’t.
From what I’ve read, it sounds like prior to Aaron’s final dunk, the judges agreed to tie his score with Derrick’s so that they could pick the winner themselves. Like a trial, the dunk contest should’ve gone to the jury. That didn’t happen because Dwyane “The Human Soggy Cornflake” Wade had a horse in the race. The guy who doesn’t win his first championship in 2006 without the help of the referees, once again showcases he has no shame in rigging something in his favor. Not only did LeBron’s sidekick cost AG a nice little trophy, but also $200,000 in prize money and likely an endorsement or two. Dwayne Wade...you suck.
Going forward, the NBA needs to change who they allow to judge a dunk contest. No celebrities (Wakanda ForNEVER, T’Challa), no WNBA players (sorry Candace, you did a good job though), no players who have ties to any of the contestants (Wade can go suck a....). The only people who should be allowed to judge a dunk contest are former dunk contest finalists. If by the end of the 4th round a winner hasn’t been determined, they go to a dunk off version H.O.R.S.E. You can maybe shorten it to N.B.A. or whatever, but leaving the dunk contest up to bias isn’t sustainable. Let the best dunker win. If you’re not going to do that, just cancel the entire dunk contest. In fact, just cancel everything. The celebrity game? Cancel it. Especially if you can’t get real celebrities to play in it. The skills challenge? Cancel it. Nobody tries hard anyway. The 3 Point Shootout? You add more gimmicks to every year. Knock it off. Cancel it. Dunk Contest? Cancel it. The actual all-star game? Cancel it. Everything about this weekend is tainted.
Aaron Gordon, you are still a 2x dunk contest champion in most of the world’s eyes but especially here in Orlando. We appreciate you for representing the Magic and our city in such an upstanding way. And if we never see you in another dunk contest again, just know...YOU ARE THE GREATEST DUNKER OF ALL TIME
